Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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