I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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