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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
