I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
