There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
