ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
