So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
