on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
