I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
