i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
