After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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