HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
