It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
