News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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