we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
