I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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