Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
