Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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