butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We had sex on a dog bed..
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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