I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
