All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
