He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize