Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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