I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
