is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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