I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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