You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
