i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
