Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
