Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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