I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We're too hungover to prance.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
