Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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