i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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