I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
