PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
