Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
