He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize