I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
