hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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