I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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