the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize