That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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