gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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