Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
