I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
