So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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