I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize