ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
