god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
