Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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