i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
