I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I could fuck to npr.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
