I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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