They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
