I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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