garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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