you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
