The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
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i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
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"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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