You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
