No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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