I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
