so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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