i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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