Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
