Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Randomize
