take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
