I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
